Sunday, July 1, 2012

au revoir

Hi everyone. It's been a while.

Unfortunately, I'm not going to be writing much for a while. And, unfortunately, the reason is not a good and  happy reason. For obvious reasons I cannot divulge every little detail. However, I feel that you all, as my very loyal readers, deserve to know something. So, in a dual effort to both keep my personal life private and to give an adequate explanation, here is my grand excuse:  Sheisse hat der Lüfter getroffen.

Until further writings, that is all.
-c.

Monday, April 23, 2012

from Isaiah 40 (The Message)

God doesn't come and go. God lasts.
   He's Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath.
   And he knows everything, inside and out.
He energizes those who get tired,
   gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out,
   young folk in their prime stumble and fall.

But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.
   They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don't get tired,
   they walk and don't lag behind.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

this is so awesome

I was a little cynical about President Obama during the first two years of his term. However, I've been slowly working my way over to the opposite position; that is, supporting President Obama. I found this on the Nashville CARES website while researching for a speech, and I must say, I am rather impressed.

Obama Administration Unveils First-Ever National Plan to Fight Domestic HIV Epidemic
Resources, Accountability and Strong Implementation Are Key

After three years of rigorous grassroots advocacy, the Obama Administration released the country’s first National HIV/AIDS Strategy this week.  The unprecedented plan sets forth an ambitious agenda to effectively address the domestic U.S. HIV epidemic.

“The National HIV/AIDS Strategy marks the culmination of years of hard work by the HIV/AIDS community,” said Nashville CARES CEO Joseph Interrante.  “Its release brings much hope to all Americans affected by HIV/AIDS.  Nashville CARES commends the President and the Office of National AIDS Policy for developing a plan to meet the challenges of the domestic HIV epidemic.”

The strategy sets three goals: reduce new HIV infections; increase access to care for people living with HIV/AIDS and optimize health outcomes; and reduce HIV-related health disparities.  It also addresses the social factors such as stigma and discrimination that contribute to vulnerability to HIV infection and poor health outcomes.  The clear goals, timelines, and measurable outcomes in the strategy must now be followed by sound and coordinated implementation with adequate resources and the engagement of multiple partners to produce actual results.  This would make NHAS the first truly effective, comprehensive national plan in response to the U.S. HIV/AIDS epidemic, now in its 30th year. 

The high-note hit by the release of the NHAS stands in stark contrast to other recent developments in HIV/AIDS.  “The crisis in the AIDS Drug Assistance Program, with more than 2,200 people currently on state waiting lists for life-saving medications, underscores that successful implementation will depend upon adequate funding,” said Interrante.  “This means new and increased funding targeted in ways consistent with the strategy, and not merely a redirection of existing funds.”

The release of NHAS is a critical step, but it is a beginning, not an end.  Implementation of the strategy must engage local community stakeholders as well as government, business and labor leaders, health care professionals, philanthropy, and faith communities in creating strategies that work locally.  Nashville CARES looks forward to working with its national, regional and local partners to ensure that the NHAS is successful, and that the United States become, in the words of the NHAS, “a place where new HIV infections are rare” and there is “unfettered access to high quality, life-extending care, free from stigma and discrimination.” 

Sunday, April 15, 2012

description

this was written as a profile description on 8tracks:
some things are better left unsaid. i'd like to think they were singing about something so beautiful it can't be expressed in words, and it makes your heart ache because of it. i tell you those voices soared, higher and farther than anybody in a grey place dares to dream. it was like some beautiful bird flapped into our drab little cage and made these walls dissolve away.
i thought it was rather beautiful.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Passion, Intimacy, Commitment

these are what make up consummate love

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Thursday, April 5, 2012

memo

I received this email a few days ago, and I thought it was just too funny to keep to myself. Names have been changed.


Fleischman Annex Colleagues:

In an effort to best serve you and ensure a happy and comfortable workplace (well, at least comfortable), Cheryl Johnson, Stacy Burns and I have joined forces in a moment of incredible teamwork to coordinate the sometimes and somewhat eccentric air conditioning and heating units that serve our humble office mansion. Because our singular, modular facility is actually comprised of three separate units joined in a unique symbiosis, three HVAC units, and thus, three thermostats, control our internal atmospheric conditions from day to day; nay, moment to moment. 

To help these struggling three units serve us best, Cheryl, Stacy and I have determined to ensure that all three thermostats are always set to the same temperature. We now have periodic discussions throughout the day as to what temperature setting best serves the need of that time, and once agreed, we adjust. The Corps of Engineers would do well to learn from us!

We want you to know that each of us is open to suggestions from members of our office collective because we are benevolent dictators and at least somewhat disdainful of the notion that some animals are more equal than others (despite the fact that we control the thermostats). If you get too warm, or too cold, please mention that to any one of us and we will quickly convene our committee to consider your condition. The committee is majority rule, so if any committee member is absent, the other two are empowered to act as his or her proxy. The committee will also consider fines and other potential disciplinary actions should any of our collective act unilaterally and adjust one of the thermostats without consulting the committee or, even, the other thermostats, to the dismay of other members of our collective (or even the HVAC units).

Let us be comfortable and productive in our work!

Andrew

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

oh dear

You just might be a grad student if:

...you can identify universities by their internet domains.

...you are constantly looking for a thesis in novels.

...you have difficulty reading anything that doesn't have footnotes.

...you understand jokes about Foucoult.

...the concept of free time scares you.

...you consider caffeine to be a major food group.

...you've ever brought books with you on vacation and actually studied.

...Saturday nights spent studying no longer seem weird.

...the professor doesn't show up to class and you discuss the readings anyway.

...you've ever travelled across two state lines specifically to go to a library.

...you appreciate the fact that you get to choose *which* twenty hours out of the day you have to work.

...you still feel guilty about giving students low grades (you'll get over it).

...you can read course books and cook at the same time.

...you schedule events for academic vacations so your friends can come.

...you hope it snows during spring break so you can get more studying in.

...you've ever worn out a library card.

...you find taking notes in a park relaxing.

...you find yourself citing sources in conversation.

...you've ever sent a personal letter with footnotes.

...you can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot operate.

...your carrel is better decorated than your apartment.

...you have ever, as a folklore project, attempted to track the progress of your own joke across the Internet.

...you are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read.

...you have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar.

...you rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your laptop.

...everything reminds you of something in your discipline.

...you have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event.

...you have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while researching a single paper.

...there is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider "yours."

...you actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche.

...you can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at the library.

...you look forward to summers because you're more productive without the distraction of classes.

...you regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.

...you consider all papers to be works in progress.

...professors don't really care when you turn in work anymore.

...you find the bibliographies of books more interesting than the actual text.

...you have given up trying to keep your books organized and are now just trying to keep them all in the same general area.

...you have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation.

...you reflexively start analyzing those greek letters before you realize that it's a sorority sweatshirt, not an equation.

...you find yourself explaining to children that you are in "20th grade".

...you start refering to stories like "Snow White et al."

...you frequently wonder how long you can live on pasta without getting scurvy.

...you look forward to taking some time off to do laundry.

...you have more photocopy cards than credit cards.

...you wonder if APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as "personal communication".



Tuesday, April 3, 2012

good morning

While checking multiple email accounts, news websites, and webcomics this morning, I came across a lovely message from my boyfriend:
I just want you to know how much I love you. It's like, you know how when you eat spaghetti and it seems like the more you eat, the more there is? That's what my love for you is. A never-ending plate of spaghetti where the spaghetti is my love for you.
This is (yet another reason) why I love him. He compares feelings to spaghetti. 

Monday, March 5, 2012

I may be a tad off.

I dislike happy books. Not that I don't like books to be happy. I just dislike books that are happy for the sake of being happy. As a result of this preference, I often end up reading depressing books- books that are excellent, but fail to make me smile. I love books that make me cry. Is this abnormal? Possibly. It is a sign that I have some deep-rooted emotional stress that I can't really acknowledge? Eh. Like I said. If the books happen to be happy, then awesome; just don't sacrifice a complex or interesting plot for the happy.

Anyways. I suggest that if you, dear reader, also enjoy well written sadities, then read John Green's stuff.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Humans can love, they can do it flawlessly.



I like how you mispronounce words sometimes, how you fumble and stammer and stutter looking for the right ones to say and the right ways to say them. I appreciate that you find language challenging, because it is, because everything manmade is challenging. Including man, including you.

When you sleep on your side, I like to map the constellations between your beauty marks freckles pimples, the minuscule mountains that sprinkle your back. I like the tufts of hair you forgot to shave and the way you smell when you haven’t showered in a while; I like the sleep left in your eyes.

I like the way your skin dies in the middle of the night, how you die from embarrassment the next morning; how you writhe in the snake casing you’ve left behind. I like that you think pillow snowflakes carry more weight than pillow talk; that you think my opinion of you is so fickle that it could change overnight. (It’s not.)

I enjoy seeing you insecure, vulnerable. I like to watch red steam light up your cheeks, a spreading mist of shame when you think you’ve done something unacceptable like missing a step on the stairs or not having the perfect answer to something I’ve said. It’s like you honestly don’t know how wonderful you are, it’s like you have no idea.

The burns, the scars, the black and blues on your face body heart, I want to know their stories. I want to know what hurt you, who hurt you, how bad the damage is. I like your hard, ugly toenails and the layer of fat that lines your belly, the soft parts you try to hide. It’s okay to be soft, sometimes.

I Like Your Flaws by Stephanie Georgopulos

I appreciate your ability to get inappropriately angry as much as I appreciate your willingness to apologize afterward. I like how your passion manifests unpredictably and uncontrollably, how your feelings cannot be caged or concealed, how you’re incapable of apathy.

I like how you can’t dance, how you have pedestrian taste in music, how the worst song on every album is your favorite. I like how enthusiastic you are when you hear it, it’s like you don’t know how terrible it is, it’s like maybe how you’re able to love someone like me. (Perhaps that’s your biggest flaw, perhaps that’s the one I love most.) Your flaws single you out, set you apart, make you different from the rest, and thank god. I don’t just put up with settle for accept your blemishes, I like them. I like them because they make you human, and humans are easier to love than photographs and illusions and ideals; humans fit more easily between arms and between legs; humans are welcome to their imperfections because if there’s one thing humans can do perfectly, it’s love. Humans can love, they can do it flawlessly.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

why do we need grammar?


Grammar is the study of how sentences are constructed. Within the study of grammar, we find “subject-verb agreement” and “verb tense” and “syntax;” in short, words and phrases that explain the logic behind language. But grammar is not just about creating sentences that make sense. It holds the language together, so that we may better communicate with one another the beauty in our existence. Just as simple algebra leads to the complex physics that explains the universe, so do grammar and its usage lead to the prose that expresses everything. Using advanced grammar helps to convey reality rather than just writing about reality. 

Novels help us better understand the many facets of the human condition. In chapter two of How Proust Can Change Your Life, Alain de Botton insinuates that novels actually heal us by allowing insight into humanity. In reading, we learn about ourselves; de Botton states, “In reality, every reader is, while he is reading, the reader of his own self.” We also learn about other people—“we are repeatedly able to read about people we know.”  Novels expand our horizons, letting “worlds that had seemed threateningly alien reveal themselves to be essentially much like our own, expanding the range of places in which we feel at home.” A reader cannot read himself or his friends into poorly written prose, nor can he feel at home in simple syntax. In order to effectively display something complex, we must use complex means; nothing short of an advanced use of language could adequately display characters complex enough to allow a deeper understanding of mankind. 

Great writing is not just the result of intense character development. A story is not a story without plot, and plot does not come out of inexperience. Experience gives us something to write about. In chapter one, de Botton gives us this directive: love life today, not tomorrow or the next day. Learn how to appreciate a morning cup of coffee as the delicious deep brown and bitter liquid that it is. View a cold walk to wherever as refreshingly crisp. Or choose to see a particularly fierce argument as enlightening. He implores us to take note of everything we do and what is around us instead of blindly going through the motions.  When we begin to experience life—both the good and the bad—we then discover “a host of untried possibilities lurking beneath the surface of an apparently undesirable, apparently eternal existence.” When we are active in our lives we can write in a way that is believable and subsequently relatable. And when we write about our experiences, just as we pay attention to the details in our everyday business, so should we pay attention to the details in our writing. 

Advanced grammar helps us to write about incredibly complex subjects: people and their lives. Novels help us understand how people work. They let us gain deeper understanding of ourselves and they allow us to learn about other people so that we may better appreciate their perspectives. Our active participation in life gives us material to pull on so that we may write stories worthy of the characters we put into them, making the tales more relatable.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Valentine's Day Advice

In honor of the "love" holiday, I thought I might impart a few tips to ladies lookin' for love.

Find a man, not a boy. Hearts are broken by stupidity. Boys are stupid, men are less stupid. Also, note that "men" and "boys" are terms that don't necessarily mean physical age.

Find yourself an honest man. One who will tell you what he actually thinks about your friends and family.

Next, find an honest man with a couple extra helpings of kindness in his soul. Some of us may be able to handle an honest but not kind man... but I doubt anyone wants to. So, find a man who will, in fact, tell you that yes, that dress makes you look fat; but make sure he's the type to say it nicely.

Here's the most important one: find an honest, kind man who is good with words. Love doesn't mean anything if he can't express it.

Friday, February 10, 2012

fun stuff!

Hello my dear, wonderful readers! It's been a while, I know, since I've written- even longer since I've written of happy things.

SO, here's some happy stuff for you all to enjoy!

Occasionally, I get overwhelming urges to go shopping for EVERYTHING. Today, I indulged with these four lovely products:

a sticker for either my car or my camelback... not sure which
a bumpersticker for my camelback
this one is a tshirt from the shop at mentalfloss.com
tshirt from outofprintclothing.com
Also, for those of you who enjoy the ooey-gooey mushy-mushy ness of the Romance genre, I highly encourage you to check out Okay, Listen Here. My mother and four or five of her writer friends are the writers. Their posts range from the hilariously random (written mostly by mom) to the outrageously opinioned. And they update several times a week. How awesome is that?

That is all for now, lovely readers.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

a reason to be happy

We use words to talk about our world and to show the beauty in living. Every word that has ever found itself spoken or written into existence has been so in order to more perfectly rejoice in all things, both good and bad. If we do not rejoice in these things, we have no reason to speak or write.

This is the day the LORD hath made; let us be glad and rejoice in it.

Monday, January 30, 2012

inner fire

"Perfection and excellence are not things to strive for, for me. They are a habit, a compulsion."

And this is what makes for greatness... loneliness, too, if we are not careful.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Tilted

During my time in Vienna, I had the privilege of meeting some lovely Australians. My travel group and I even traveled with them for a night. During our train rides, I had a very in depth conversation with one of our traveling companions. We spoke of many issues, including how the "racial problem" as we called it is so huge and the real issue with it. That is, that the solutions often make it worse. For instance, the whole minority scholarship thing. It's a great idea, but there are many who believe it should have been discontinued a couple of generations down from the civil rights movement. Now, if someone petitions to eradicate such programs, they end up being labeled as "racist." Things like that make it so incredibly difficult to address the issue, and without addressing it the whole problem could continue to feed on itself.

Anyways, I was reading a speech President Obama delivered about four years ago that seemed so very relevant to this issue. 


We the people, in order to form a more perfect union."
Two hundred and twenty one years ago, in a hall that still stands across the street, a group of men gathered and, with these simple words, launched America's improbable experiment in democracy. Farmers and scholars; statesmen and patriots who had traveled across an ocean to escape tyranny and persecution finally made real their declaration of independence at a Philadelphia convention that lasted through the spring of 1787.
The document they produced was eventually signed but ultimately unfinished. It was stained by this nation's original sin of slavery, a question that divided the colonies and brought the convention to a stalemate until the founders chose to allow the slave trade to continue for at least twenty more years, and to leave any final resolution to future generations.
Of course, the answer to the slavery question was already embedded within our Constitution - a Constitution that had at is very core the ideal of equal citizenship under the law; a Constitution that promised its people liberty, and justice, and a union that could be and should be perfected over time.
And yet words on a parchment would not be enough to deliver slaves from bondage, or provide men and women of every color and creed their full rights and obligations as citizens of the United States. What would be needed were Americans in successive generations who were willing to do their part - through protests and struggle, on the streets and in the courts, through a civil war and civil disobedience and always at great risk - to narrow that gap between the promise of our ideals and the reality of their time.
This was one of the tasks we set forth at the beginning of this campaign - to continue the long march of those who came before us, a march for a more just, more equal, more free, more caring and more prosperous America. I chose to run for the presidency at this moment in history because I believe deeply that we cannot solve the challenges of our time unless we solve them together - unless we perfect our union by understanding that we may have different stories, but we hold common hopes; that we may not look the same and we may not have come from the same place, but we all want to move in the same direction - towards a better future for of children and our grandchildren.
This belief comes from my unyielding faith in the decency and generosity of the American people. But it also comes from my own American story.
I am the son of a black man from Kenya and a white woman from Kansas. I was raised with the help of a white grandfather who survived a Depression to serve in Patton's Army during World War II and a white grandmother who worked on a bomber assembly line at Fort Leavenworth while he was overseas. I've gone to some of the best schools in America and lived in one of the world's poorest nations. I am married to a black American who carries within her the blood of slaves and slaveowners - an inheritance we pass on to our two precious daughters. I have brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, uncles and cousins, of every race and every hue, scattered across three continents, and for as long as I live, I will never forget that in no other country on Earth is my story even possible.
It's a story that hasn't made me the most conventional candidate. But it is a story that has seared into my genetic makeup the idea that this nation is more than the sum of its parts - that out of many, we are truly one.
Throughout the first year of this campaign, against all predictions to the contrary, we saw how hungry the American people were for this message of unity. Despite the temptation to view my candidacy through a purely racial lens, we won commanding victories in states with some of the whitest populations in the country. In South Carolina, where the Confederate Flag still flies, we built a powerful coalition of African Americans and white Americans.
This is not to say that race has not been an issue in the campaign. At various stages in the campaign, some commentators have deemed me either "too black" or "not black enough." We saw racial tensions bubble to the surface during the week before the South Carolina primary. The press has scoured every exit poll for the latest evidence of racial polarization, not just in terms of white and black, but black and brown as well.
And yet, it has only been in the last couple of weeks that the discussion of race in this campaign has taken a particularly divisive turn.
On one end of the spectrum, we've heard the implication that my candidacy is somehow an exercise in affirmative action; that it's based solely on the desire of wide-eyed liberals to purchase racial reconciliation on the cheap. On the other end, we've heard my former pastor, Reverend Jeremiah Wright, use incendiary language to express views that have the potential not only to widen the racial divide, but views that denigrate both the greatness and the goodness of our nation; that rightly offend white and black alike.
I have already condemned, in unequivocal terms, the statements of Reverend Wright that have caused such controversy. For some, nagging questions remain. Did I know him to be an occasionally fierce critic of American domestic and foreign policy? Of course. Did I ever hear him make remarks that could be considered controversial while I sat in church? Yes. Did I strongly disagree with many of his political views? Absolutely - just as I'm sure many of you have heard remarks from your pastors, priests, or rabbis with which you strongly disagreed.
But the remarks that have caused this recent firestorm weren't simply controversial. They weren't simply a religious leader's effort to speak out against perceived injustice. Instead, they expressed a profoundly distorted view of this country - a view that sees white racism as endemic, and that elevates what is wrong with America above all that we know is right with America; a view that sees the conflicts in the Middle East as rooted primarily in the actions of stalwart allies like Israel, instead of emanating from the perverse and hateful ideologies of radical Islam.
As such, Reverend Wright's comments were not only wrong but divisive, divisive at a time when we need unity; racially charged at a time when we need to come together to solve a set of monumental problems - two wars, a terrorist threat, a falling economy, a chronic health care crisis and potentially devastating climate change; problems that are neither black or white or Latino or Asian, but rather problems that confront us all.
Given my background, my politics, and my professed values and ideals, there will no doubt be those for whom my statements of condemnation are not enough. Why associate myself with Reverend Wright in the first place, they may ask? Why not join another church? And I confess that if all that I knew of Reverend Wright were the snippets of those sermons that have run in an endless loop on the television and You Tube, or if Trinity United Church of Christ conformed to the caricatures being peddled by some commentators, there is no doubt that I would react in much the same way
But the truth is, that isn't all that I know of the man. The man I met more than twenty years ago is a man who helped introduce me to my Christian faith, a man who spoke to me about our obligations to love one another; to care for the sick and lift up the poor. He is a man who served his country as a U.S. Marine; who has studied and lectured at some of the finest universities and seminaries in the country, and who for over thirty years led a church that serves the community by doing God's work here on Earth - by housing the homeless, ministering to the needy, providing day care services and scholarships and prison ministries, and reaching out to those suffering from HIV/AIDS.
In my first book, Dreams From My Father, I described the experience of my first service at Trinity:
"People began to shout, to rise from their seats and clap and cry out, a forceful wind carrying the reverend's voice up into the rafters....And in that single note - hope! - I heard something else; at the foot of that cross, inside the thousands of churches across the city, I imagined the stories of ordinary black people merging with the stories of David and Goliath, Moses and Pharaoh, the Christians in the lion's den, Ezekiel's field of dry bones. Those stories - of survival, and freedom, and hope - became our story, my story; the blood that had spilled was our blood, the tears our tears; until this black church, on this bright day, seemed once more a vessel carrying the story of a people into future generations and into a larger world. Our trials and triumphs became at once unique and universal, black and more than black; in chronicling our journey, the stories and songs gave us a means to reclaim memories that we didn't need to feel shame about...memories that all people might study and cherish - and with which we could start to rebuild."
That has been my experience at Trinity. Like other predominantly black churches across the country, Trinity embodies the black community in its entirety - the doctor and the welfare mom, the model student and the former gang-banger. Like other black churches, Trinity's services are full of raucous laughter and sometimes bawdy humor. They are full of dancing, clapping, screaming and shouting that may seem jarring to the untrained ear. The church contains in full the kindness and cruelty, the fierce intelligence and the shocking ignorance, the struggles and successes, the love and yes, the bitterness and bias that make up the black experience in America.
And this helps explain, perhaps, my relationship with Reverend Wright. As imperfect as he may be, he has been like family to me. He strengthened my faith, officiated my wedding, and baptized my children. Not once in my conversations with him have I heard him talk about any ethnic group in derogatory terms, or treat whites with whom he interacted with anything but courtesy and respect. He contains within him the contradictions - the good and the bad - of the community that he has served diligently for so many years.
I can no more disown him than I can disown the black community. I can no more disown him than I can my white grandmother - a woman who helped raise me, a woman who sacrificed again and again for me, a woman who loves me as much as she loves anything in this world, but a woman who once confessed her fear of black men who passed by her on the street, and who on more than one occasion has uttered racial or ethnic stereotypes that made me cringe.
These people are a part of me. And they are a part of America, this country that I love.
Some will see this as an attempt to justify or excuse comments that are simply inexcusable. I can assure you it is not. I suppose the politically safe thing would be to move on from this episode and just hope that it fades into the woodwork. We can dismiss Reverend Wright as a crank or a demagogue, just as some have dismissed Geraldine Ferraro, in the aftermath of her recent statements, as harboring some deep-seated racial bias.
But race is an issue that I believe this nation cannot afford to ignore right now. We would be making the same mistake that Reverend Wright made in his offending sermons about America - to simplify and stereotype and amplify the negative to the point that it distorts reality.
The fact is that the comments that have been made and the issues that have surfaced over the last few weeks reflect the complexities of race in this country that we've never really worked through - a part of our union that we have yet to perfect. And if we walk away now, if we simply retreat into our respective corners, we will never be able to come together and solve challenges like health care, or education, or the need to find good jobs for every American.
Understanding this reality requires a reminder of how we arrived at this point. As William Faulkner once wrote, "The past isn't dead and buried. In fact, it isn't even past." We do not need to recite here the history of racial injustice in this country. But we do need to remind ourselves that so many of the disparities that exist in the African-American community today can be directly traced to inequalities passed on from an earlier generation that suffered under the brutal legacy of slavery and Jim Crow.
Segregated schools were, and are, inferior schools; we still haven't fixed them, fifty years after Brown v. Board of Education, and the inferior education they provided, then and now, helps explain the pervasive achievement gap between today's black and white students.
Legalized discrimination - where blacks were prevented, often through violence, from owning property, or loans were not granted to African-American business owners, or black homeowners could not access FHA mortgages, or blacks were excluded from unions, or the police force, or fire departments - meant that black families could not amass any meaningful wealth to bequeath to future generations. That history helps explain the wealth and income gap between black and white, and the concentrated pockets of poverty that persists in so many of today's urban and rural communities.
A lack of economic opportunity among black men, and the shame and frustration that came from not being able to provide for one's family, contributed to the erosion of black families - a problem that welfare policies for many years may have worsened. And the lack of basic services in so many urban black neighborhoods - parks for kids to play in, police walking the beat, regular garbage pick-up and building code enforcement - all helped create a cycle of violence, blight and neglect that continue to haunt us.
This is the reality in which Reverend Wright and other African-Americans of his generation grew up. They came of age in the late fifties and early sixties, a time when segregation was still the law of the land and opportunity was systematically constricted. What's remarkable is not how many failed in the face of discrimination, but rather how many men and women overcame the odds; how many were able to make a way out of no way for those like me who would come after them.
But for all those who scratched and clawed their way to get a piece of the American Dream, there were many who didn't make it - those who were ultimately defeated, in one way or another, by discrimination. That legacy of defeat was passed on to future generations - those young men and increasingly young women who we see standing on street corners or languishing in our prisons, without hope or prospects for the future. Even for those blacks who did make it, questions of race, and racism, continue to define their worldview in fundamental ways. For the men and women of Reverend Wright's generation, the memories of humiliation and doubt and fear have not gone away; nor has the anger and the bitterness of those years. That anger may not get expressed in public, in front of white co-workers or white friends. But it does find voice in the barbershop or around the kitchen table. At times, that anger is exploited by politicians, to gin up votes along racial lines, or to make up for a politician's own failings.
And occasionally it finds voice in the church on Sunday morning, in the pulpit and in the pews. The fact that so many people are surprised to hear that anger in some of Reverend Wright's sermons simply reminds us of the old truism that the most segregated hour in American life occurs on Sunday morning. That anger is not always productive; indeed, all too often it distracts attention from solving real problems; it keeps us from squarely facing our own complicity in our condition, and prevents the African-American community from forging the alliances it needs to bring about real change. But the anger is real; it is powerful; and to simply wish it away, to condemn it without understanding its roots, only serves to widen the chasm of misunderstanding that exists between the races.
In fact, a similar anger exists within segments of the white community. Most working- and middle-class white Americans don't feel that they have been particularly privileged by their race. Their experience is the immigrant experience - as far as they're concerned, no one's handed them anything, they've built it from scratch. They've worked hard all their lives, many times only to see their jobs shipped overseas or their pension dumped after a lifetime of labor. They are anxious about their futures, and feel their dreams slipping away; in an era of stagnant wages and global competition, opportunity comes to be seen as a zero sum game, in which your dreams come at my expense. So when they are told to bus their children to a school across town; when they hear that an African American is getting an advantage in landing a good job or a spot in a good college because of an injustice that they themselves never committed; when they're told that their fears about crime in urban neighborhoods are somehow prejudiced, resentment builds over time.
Like the anger within the black community, these resentments aren't always expressed in polite company. But they have helped shape the political landscape for at least a generation. Anger over welfare and affirmative action helped forge the Reagan Coalition. Politicians routinely exploited fears of crime for their own electoral ends. Talk show hosts and conservative commentators built entire careers unmasking bogus claims of racism while dismissing legitimate discussions of racial injustice and inequality as mere political correctness or reverse racism.
Just as black anger often proved counterproductive, so have these white resentments distracted attention from the real culprits of the middle class squeeze - a corporate culture rife with inside dealing, questionable accounting practices, and short-term greed; a Washington dominated by lobbyists and special interests; economic policies that favor the few over the many. And yet, to wish away the resentments of white Americans, to label them as misguided or even racist, without recognizing they are grounded in legitimate concerns - this too widens the racial divide, and blocks the path to understanding.
This is where we are right now. It's a racial stalemate we've been stuck in for years. Contrary to the claims of some of my critics, black and white, I have never been so naïve as to believe that we can get beyond our racial divisions in a single election cycle, or with a single candidacy - particularly a candidacy as imperfect as my own.
But I have asserted a firm conviction - a conviction rooted in my faith in God and my faith in the American people - that working together we can move beyond some of our old racial wounds, and that in fact we have no choice is we are to continue on the path of a more perfect union.
For the African-American community, that path means embracing the burdens of our past without becoming victims of our past. It means continuing to insist on a full measure of justice in every aspect of American life. But it also means binding our particular grievances - for better health care, and better schools, and better jobs - to the larger aspirations of all Americans -- the white woman struggling to break the glass ceiling, the white man whose been laid off, the immigrant trying to feed his family. And it means taking full responsibility for own lives - by demanding more from our fathers, and spending more time with our children, and reading to them, and teaching them that while they may face challenges and discrimination in their own lives, they must never succumb to despair or cynicism; they must always believe that they can write their own destiny.
Ironically, this quintessentially American - and yes, conservative - notion of self-help found frequent expression in Reverend Wright's sermons. But what my former pastor too often failed to understand is that embarking on a program of self-help also requires a belief that society can change.
The profound mistake of Reverend Wright's sermons is not that he spoke about racism in our society. It's that he spoke as if our society was static; as if no progress has been made; as if this country - a country that has made it possible for one of his own members to run for the highest office in the land and build a coalition of white and black; Latino and Asian, rich and poor, young and old -- is still irrevocably bound to a tragic past. But what we know -- what we have seen - is that America can change. That is true genius of this nation. What we have already achieved gives us hope - the audacity to hope - for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.
In the white community, the path to a more perfect union means acknowledging that what ails the African-American community does not just exist in the minds of black people; that the legacy of discrimination - and current incidents of discrimination, while less overt than in the past - are real and must be addressed. Not just with words, but with deeds - by investing in our schools and our communities; by enforcing our civil rights laws and ensuring fairness in our criminal justice system; by providing this generation with ladders of opportunity that were unavailable for previous generations. It requires all Americans to realize that your dreams do not have to come at the expense of my dreams; that investing in the health, welfare, and education of black and brown and white children will ultimately help all of America prosper.
In the end, then, what is called for is nothing more, and nothing less, than what all the world's great religions demand - that we do unto others as we would have them do unto us. Let us be our brother's keeper, Scripture tells us. Let us be our sister's keeper. Let us find that common stake we all have in one another, and let our politics reflect that spirit as well.
For we have a choice in this country. We can accept a politics that breeds division, and conflict, and cynicism. We can tackle race only as spectacle - as we did in the OJ trial - or in the wake of tragedy, as we did in the aftermath of Katrina - or as fodder for the nightly news. We can play Reverend Wright's sermons on every channel, every day and talk about them from now until the election, and make the only question in this campaign whether or not the American people think that I somehow believe or sympathize with his most offensive words. We can pounce on some gaffe by a Hillary supporter as evidence that she's playing the race card, or we can speculate on whether white men will all flock to John McCain in the general election regardless of his policies.
We can do that.
But if we do, I can tell you that in the next election, we'll be talking about some other distraction. And then another one. And then another one. And nothing will change.
That is one option. Or, at this moment, in this election, we can come together and say, "Not this time." This time we want to talk about the crumbling schools that are stealing the future of black children and white children and Asian children and Hispanic children and Native American children. This time we want to reject the cynicism that tells us that these kids can't learn; that those kids who don't look like us are somebody else's problem. The children of America are not those kids, they are our kids, and we will not let them fall behind in a 21st century economy. Not this time.
This time we want to talk about how the lines in the Emergency Room are filled with whites and blacks and Hispanics who do not have health care; who don't have the power on their own to overcome the special interests in Washington, but who can take them on if we do it together.
This time we want to talk about the shuttered mills that once provided a decent life for men and women of every race, and the homes for sale that once belonged to Americans from every religion, every region, every walk of life. This time we want to talk about the fact that the real problem is not that someone who doesn't look like you might take your job; it's that the corporation you work for will ship it overseas for nothing more than a profit.
This time we want to talk about the men and women of every color and creed who serve together, and fight together, and bleed together under the same proud flag. We want to talk about how to bring them home from a war that never should've been authorized and never should've been waged, and we want to talk about how we'll show our patriotism by caring for them, and their families, and giving them the benefits they have earned.
I would not be running for President if I didn't believe with all my heart that this is what the vast majority of Americans want for this country. This union may never be perfect, but generation after generation has shown that it can always be perfected. And today, whenever I find myself feeling doubtful or cynical about this possibility, what gives me the most hope is the next generation - the young people whose attitudes and beliefs and openness to change have already made history in this election.
There is one story in particularly that I'd like to leave you with today - a story I told when I had the great honor of speaking on Dr. King's birthday at his home church, Ebenezer Baptist, in Atlanta.
There is a young, twenty-three year old white woman named Ashley Baia who organized for our campaign in Florence, South Carolina. She had been working to organize a mostly African-American community since the beginning of this campaign, and one day she was at a roundtable discussion where everyone went around telling their story and why they were there.
And Ashley said that when she was nine years old, her mother got cancer. And because she had to miss days of work, she was let go and lost her health care. They had to file for bankruptcy, and that's when Ashley decided that she had to do something to help her mom.
She knew that food was one of their most expensive costs, and so Ashley convinced her mother that what she really liked and really wanted to eat more than anything else was mustard and relish sandwiches. Because that was the cheapest way to eat.
She did this for a year until her mom got better, and she told everyone at the roundtable that the reason she joined our campaign was so that she could help the millions of other children in the country who want and need to help their parents too.
Now Ashley might have made a different choice. Perhaps somebody told her along the way that the source of her mother's problems were blacks who were on welfare and too lazy to work, or Hispanics who were coming into the country illegally. But she didn't. She sought out allies in her fight against injustice.
Anyway, Ashley finishes her story and then goes around the room and asks everyone else why they're supporting the campaign. They all have different stories and reasons. Many bring up a specific issue. And finally they come to this elderly black man who's been sitting there quietly the entire time. And Ashley asks him why he's there. And he does not bring up a specific issue. He does not say health care or the economy. He does not say education or the war. He does not say that he was there because of Barack Obama. He simply says to everyone in the room, "I am here because of Ashley."
"I'm here because of Ashley." By itself, that single moment of recognition between that young white girl and that old black man is not enough. It is not enough to give health care to the sick, or jobs to the jobless, or education to our children.
But it is where we start. It is where our union grows stronger. And as so many generations have come to realize over the course of the two-hundred and twenty one years since a band of patriots signed that document in Philadelphia, that is where the perfection begins.