memo

I received this email a few days ago, and I thought it was just too funny to keep to myself. Names have been changed.

Fleischman Annex Colleagues:

In an effort to best serve you and ensure a happy and comfortable workplace (well, at least comfortable), Cheryl Johnson, Stacy Burns and I have joined forces in a moment of incredible teamwork to coordinate the sometimes and somewhat eccentric air conditioning and heating units that serve our humble office mansion. Because our singular, modular facility is actually comprised of three separate units joined in a unique symbiosis, three HVAC units, and thus, three thermostats, control our internal atmospheric conditions from day to day; nay, moment to moment. 

To help these struggling three units serve us best, Cheryl, Stacy and I have determined to ensure that all three thermostats are always set to the same temperature. We now have periodic discussions throughout the day as to what temperature setting best serves the need of that time, and once agreed, we adjust. The Corps of Engineers would do well to learn from us!

We want you to know that each of us is open to suggestions from members of our office collective because we are benevolent dictators and at least somewhat disdainful of the notion that some animals are more equal than others (despite the fact that we control the thermostats). If you get too warm, or too cold, please mention that to any one of us and we will quickly convene our committee to consider your condition. The committee is majority rule, so if any committee member is absent, the other two are empowered to act as his or her proxy. The committee will also consider fines and other potential disciplinary actions should any of our collective act unilaterally and adjust one of the thermostats without consulting the committee or, even, the other thermostats, to the dismay of other members of our collective (or even the HVAC units).

Let us be comfortable and productive in our work!

Andrew