I received this email a few days ago, and I thought it was just too funny to keep to myself. Names have been changed.
Fleischman Annex Colleagues:
In an effort to best serve you and
ensure a happy and comfortable workplace (well, at least comfortable), Cheryl
Johnson, Stacy Burns and I have joined forces in a moment of incredible teamwork
to coordinate the sometimes and somewhat eccentric air conditioning and heating
units that serve our humble office mansion. Because our singular, modular
facility is actually comprised of three separate units joined in a unique
symbiosis, three HVAC units, and thus, three thermostats, control our internal
atmospheric conditions from day to day; nay, moment to moment.
To help these struggling three units
serve us best, Cheryl, Stacy and I have determined to ensure that all three
thermostats are always set to the same temperature. We now have periodic
discussions throughout the day as to what temperature setting best serves the
need of that time, and once agreed, we adjust. The Corps of Engineers would do
well to learn from us!
We want you to know that each of us
is open to suggestions from members of our office collective because we are
benevolent dictators and at least somewhat disdainful of the notion that some
animals are more equal than others (despite the fact that we control the
thermostats). If you get too warm, or too cold, please mention that to any one
of us and we will quickly convene our committee to consider your condition. The
committee is majority rule, so if any committee member is absent, the other two
are empowered to act as his or her proxy. The committee will also consider
fines and other potential disciplinary actions should any of our collective act
unilaterally and adjust one of the thermostats without consulting the committee
or, even, the other thermostats, to the dismay of other members of our
collective (or even the HVAC units).
Let us be comfortable and productive
in our work!
Andrew